The oldest newspaper in the town where I live is producing its last print edition today. Yes, that means I live in Seattle, Encyclopedia Brown. This has filled me with nostalgia and guilt. Nostalgia because of all the editorials they've been writing about all the history that they've been around to cover. Guilt because while I read the paper almost every day I've never once bought one.
I read all my news online. Perhaps someday online news will require you to pay a modest subscription fee, and when it does I'll probably fork over the cash, but until then I just can't see buying a bulky paper that needs to be recycled when I can just read everything I'm interested in on my phone.
That being said here are some reasons a print paper is better than an online paper:
-You can do the crossword
-You have something to physically hit when you can't solve the crossword
-You have something to swat flys with
-You can give you neighbors something to steal off your doormat
-Smudges of ink act like sunscreen for your hands. Not terribly useful in Seattle actually.
-Apparently you can teach small animals to pee on it when you're done with it
-You can start a fire
-You can roll it up and hit people with it
-You can help Little Johnny justify asking for the bike for Christmas by being on his paper route. Unless you live downtown. Then you're probably allowing a hairy guy named Vinny to justify buying that gun he always wanted for protection on his paper route.
In Bloom
21 hours ago
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