Hating for the team

True sports fans are always yelling insults at someone. When their team is losing they shout at the players. When their team's winning they shout at everyone else.

Having beer vendors deliver directly to the great big fat loud mouths directly in their seats is perhaps the most capitalistically brilliant and socially irresponsible thing I have ever seen.

I love watching a baseball fan with a bag of nuts. The way they just absentmindedly chew off the shell and spit it on their own feet is just like watching a poorly designed zoo habitat where the animal can't get away from its own filth.

If I am every given the opportunity to sing the national anthem at a sporting event I'm going to bang through that baby in 15 seconds. I love my country, but I love baseball a whole lot more than I love watch a vocalist play with themselves (in a manner of speaking).

Little kids dancing always seems to wind up on the jumbo-tron at sporting events. I didn't realize the pedophile demographic had become so important to advertisers.

Shirts that say "Some team" allow that person to get along with other fans of that team. Shirts that say "Some team sucks" allows that person to get along with fans of all teams but that team. I'm going start making shirts that say "No Team Sucks". Then everyone will like me.